Getting Real – Ten on Tuesday
There are so many great blogs out there that have inspired posts here on thepimentals.com. I’ve recently updated the blogroll to the right which link to a few friends with blogs. A particular post on Kendra’s blog got me thinking. So many times this blog comes across as if life were all roses and that I spend my days surrounded by the adorableness that Lucy often emits. Well, that is not always the case and thus I should “get real” as others are doing in the blog world. And if you are looking to share your own list, be sure to sign up here.
1. I really miss sleeping. When morning comes and I hear that little voice on the monitor, I sometimes say a prayer that I am dreaming and I can sleep for a few more hours.
2. Food disgusts me. I eat because I have to. Most of the time its not even good for me which defeats the purpose almost entirely. When did this happen? I used to love food. And I am not making good food choices for Lucy. I started out her life with such good intentions and now she is going to turn into a french fry, pizza, or a granola bar before her 3rd birthday even comes close.
3. Many days I wonder if we will ever move out of this house and out of Brockton. I know we are fortunate to be in our own home but part of me can’t help but dream for more. Sometimes I wish I could slip outside and chat with the neighbors or be excited about a walk around the block. We are in a safe area and have enough room for now but I guess deep down I had hoped we’d be in something else by now. It will happen soon I am sure.
4. Lucy watches far too much TV. I’m entirely to blame of course. Some how it just happened. Shortly before she turned one we discovered the Backyardigans. Then it was Curious George that won her heart. And now it is Little Einsteins that she adores. It’s hard to keep a two year old entertained first thing in the morning before you are truly awake yourself and then when all else fails during a boring afternoon, Disney movies help pass the time.
5. This mom job isn’t easy and while I know it is the best job in the world I sometimes miss doing something else. I didn’t even love my job before but somehow after two years, I have yet to embrace the fact that I am a Stay at Home Mom. A year ago I went to a work party with Tom. While we did the usual met and greet thing, many people asked what I did or where I worked. It was harder than anyone can imagine to say to someone in a fantastic black suit that you are a Stay at Home Mom. Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t change it for the world but I had to be real and tell you that it’s not always easy to say out loud.
6. I don’t like being pregnant. So many woman marvel at the site of their bellies and feeling the baby move. This little guy makes me nauseous when he moves and I can’t sleep at night because I have to pee. It makes me sad that I am not happy being pregnant. The end result is so wonderful and I’d give birth a hundred times so long as we could skip to the end.
7. Mount Laundry in my house has developed into a mountain chain instead of a single peak. The situation is out of control and I wonder if I will ever find a system that gets those fresh clean clothes folded and away before they are dirty again. The cycle never ends.
8. The mountain chain in my house isn’t the only area in need of improvement. When did I become ok with a messy house? I’ve never been a neat freak but this is just not ok. And I feel like I am somehow not fulfilling my job when I can’t seem to get ahead of things. My dining room is hiding under wrapping paper, empty card board boxes, Tom’s work stuff, some dust and goodness knows what else! Agggghhhhhhh……
9. And speaking of not fulfilling my job, I often hope and wonder if my husband knows how much he is appreciated. He provides for us and loves us even under the mess and the sleepless nights around here. We are very lucky to have him. I wish I could buy him a jet to beat traffic everyday so he could leave later and get home earlier to be with us. He is an amazing dad and an incredible husband whom I don’t give enough credit.
10. Lastly in my quest to get real, I feel bad I am not a better friend. So many of you are living all over the world and I don’t stay in touch enough. Just know that I think of you often and wish you were close. Be sure to check in here since it seems to be the best way to stay updated on our lives.
With that, I will add I am blessed and happy. That is what is truly important. I just think it’s nice to share once in awhile so we remember we are not all perfect. xoxoxoxo
sham said,
July 14, 2008 @ 8:23 pm
You know it, gurl!!! Thanks, T. And I did not know that the mountain chain stretched all the way to Brockton. I believe its highest peak is often in my basement.
nita said,
July 15, 2008 @ 10:09 am
whew! i don’t know why we’re afraid to say these things. i clearly remember hating the bureaucracy of the corporate world. i loved lots of things, and vocally loathed other parts. why has it become taboo to say, “cooking, cleaning, endless laundry, full-time entertainment/teaching, nurturing, rinse and repeat BLOWS DONKEY BALLS!”? who told you complaining isn’t allowed? *i’ll* give you permission to bitch
and! i think a lot of us are right in that boat with you. i do all the laundry, every stitch, every friday. and by wed there are piles here and there. it’s the sense of never ever being ‘finished’ with a task that is toughest about this job. there are no deliverables. these is no end point. this job stretches out into forever and finding the real accomplishments will only happen as our kids cross the stage to accept their Nobel Prize and say, ‘My mom stayed home and I feel safe and loved and that’s why I had the headspace to make a garbage powered car. That, and she still does my laundry….’. feel me?!
and! the media is setting us mothers up to be at odds when we should be arm in arm in this brave new stay-at-home world. we all have bad days. we all yell at the kids and wish we hadn’t. we all say, ‘how about Word World’ and fall asleep with a leg on the kid so it’ll wake you if she moves. i know i do. and no one will tell you ‘it’s okay’ but it really is.
as you can see you’ve inspired me. the hardest thing is to ask for help. try it. there is someone in your life who will happily say, ‘sure, i can help’. your task – let them
but thanks for sharing this. i’m barely back in the blogworld but i’m happy to find a fellow soldier in the good battle.
xo
Auntie Flynn/Kristyn said,
July 15, 2008 @ 5:02 pm
LOVE YOU!
uncle kenny said,
July 15, 2008 @ 10:45 pm
just an f.y.i, you’re a great mom and there’s a lot of times i’m jealous of you guys… you got something special and im so proud and happy to even be a part of it….And dont ever hesitate to ask if there’s ANYTHING i can help with (other than the diaper thing, but i’d even TRY that)…I love you guys!!! stay in touch…
Dianne Hurley said,
July 16, 2008 @ 12:16 am
Tanya – The reasons your blogs always sound so “rosy” is because you are such a positive person, usually looking at the best in each situation you are in. You do have to give your self some credit. There is a reason little Lucy is so smart, appreciative, sweet, polite, kind, thoughtful, compassionate, happy go lucky, easy going, fearless, funny, etc. You and Tom have giving her such a great solid foundation to begin her life. She is so fortunate to have two parents who think the world of her and each other. Who are teaching her by example. I am so impressed by both of you. There are not many days you stay at home and if you do I know for a fact that you are reading to her, doing puzzles, dancing,and playing with her one of many toys. You are always taking her out to parks, activities, beaches. on “play dates” and different actitivies during the day. It so important for a child to live in a “home” where the Mom has her priorities in order and there is so much love. Keep up the GREAT WORK!!! YOU ARE IN AWESOME MOM
Auntie Rachel said,
July 16, 2008 @ 9:17 am
I completely agree with all the above posters. You have every right to b*tch and I commend you for doing it! You’re life isn’t perfect, no one’s is, but we all have to do what we can to make the best of it. And I think the 2 of you are doing an amazing job at that!! And believe me, whether you have kids or not, and whether you’re a stay at home Mom or not, Mount Laundry nevr goes away….Haha!! You and Tommy are doing a great job as parents and Lucy is an amazing child because of it. And I know she’s not perfect, but you have to admit, she is pretty darn close!! Even if she does turn into a tv watching french fry!!! Keep up the great work and keep keeping it real! But do know, eventhough I know you already do, you are loved, you are blessed, you are great parents, and great friends. Love you!!
Sue said,
July 19, 2008 @ 9:11 am
I couldn’t have written anything better myself. Being a wife and mom is great, but sometimes I wish we got vacation days!
The Pimentals » Monday Mumblings said,
January 25, 2010 @ 10:00 am
[...] on Monday morning and I laid awake in bed last night writing this post. Do you remember this “Getting Real” post? Sadly most of it remains to be true. Rereading it hit me hard, not much has changed. [...]